Like a Rhinestone Cowboy
There’s a Disco Ball Between Us
Rhinestone Cowboy is very much the aesthetic of the moment in my eyes. I love this piece by @nikoenikoeniko. Fringing out AND fanny out? Yes please.
Home is a feeling.
The only person I’ve ever known as my grandmother recently died, at 96 years old. She was actually the grandmother of my half sister, and no biological relation to me, and whilst we had warm feelings towards one another - I can easily remember weekends spent at her house watching her watch Countdown on the TV below the painting of Jesus that hung on her wall, with eyes that followed you around the room like a Magic Eye book - I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since my sister’s wedding over 10 years ago. So it wouldn’t be true to say I lost someone I had a close bond with - and so I was surprised by how much her passing stirred up feelings in me.
The first wave of unexpected feelings came when I was flipping through a magazine one of my neighbors had finished with left in our postroom. I came across this image, and gasped out loud.
If you’re from an Afro-Carribean household, maybe you feel the same. I don’t know if it’s the colourful patterned carpet, the net curtains framing the doorway, the stereogram, or the standing lamp (which I have an almost identical version of, rescued from my grandma’s shed when I first moved to London), but something about this picture as unmistakably Black British to me.
Something about these images feels undeniably like home to me, they awakened a nostalgia I didn’t know I’d been harbouring in my adult life. I felt at the same time comforted and observed. It felt like the lyrics to Killing Me Softly:
And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on
Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song
He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there.
And he just kept on singing, singing clear and strong.
Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words
I devoured the article, and all of the images in it. Drinking in the beauty of both the words and the photographs.
This image, from the same article, came to mind when I was at the funeral. Hers was a traditional Caribbean funeral. There was singing. There were flowers. There was a break mid way to clap for the Windrush Generation.
We filled in the grave ourselves, taking turns to shovel heavy clods of clay-caked earth into the hole, our final act of service to her, as a community. There were tears. There was curried mutton and rice and peas afterwards.
It reminded me that home is a feeling.
There’s a digital version of the article here, and I have the book The Front Room: Diaspora Migrant Aesthetics in the Home on preorder.
Her funeral song was a Janet Jackson bop. Enjoy! She’d like that.
I’ve Been Listening To
Rhinestone Cowboy - this is an absolute bop we’ve all been ignoring for too long. There is nothing more fun than galloping around the house like a horse with this playing. Trust me.
Orville Peck Smalltown Boy - as above. Get into the cowboy vibe with this surprisingly good take on the Brokski Beats classic.
Best Friends Podcast - I laughed at Sasheer and Nicole’s retelling of their nightmare holiday until I had my own! I’ll tell you about my holiday another time, but suffice to say, day two featured a lot of Blackface, and it was hard to recover the holiday vibe after that.
I’ve Been Watching
Each week I go on an Artist’s Date to the cinema, since we last spoke I’ve seen
The Fabelmans - I enjoyed this a lot more than I expected. It made me want to get my Super8 camera working. I also wanted to dress exactly like Michelle Williams’ character, full time.
I Wanna Dance With Somebody - This was INCREDIBLE. It’s no secret I love Naomi Ackie - I first became aware of her in Season 2 of The End of the Fucking World where she plays the hurt and unstable character of Bonnie. I worked on the marketing for the series, so there’s a very strong chance I’ve watched it on repeat more than just about anyone else in the whole world, and I STILL love it. I then had the pleasure of interviewing Naomi for my book, Millennial Black, and I literally screamed when I saw her pop up in the trailer for the Whitney Houston biopic. I could rave about this film and performance all day. Incredible.
Blue Jean - This one I hadn’t heard of until the trailer played before The Fabelmans. It follows the story of a lesbian teacher in England at the time of the Section 28 legislation against promoting ‘homosexual lifestyles’ in the UK was being passed. Something that still feels timely today as we see the rights of our trans and queer friends and siblings relentlessly denigrated and debated by governments at home and around the world. I loved it. I laughed and literally cried, I’d absolutely recommend hunting it down when it comes to streaming.
I’ve Been Making
A holiday to Tenerife feel like a trip to the Wild West. Like I said - full time cowboy vibes, please.
Gloves Happen. Now I have a hot glue-gun, nothing is safe from fringing.
Daily morning routine and creative prompt videos on TikTok using my Brian Eno Oblique Strategies cards.
I’ve also been working on a painting, which should be ready to show you next time.
I’ve Been Reading
An oral history of Covid. This piece has an American focus, but I think it’s so interesting to see and hear the words of covid, I feel like my memories of that period are already slipping away, somehow.
This piece about the difference between how old we are and how old we feel. I certainly find myself forgetting my age a lot, and usually find myself rounding upwards, unlike the people in this article who seem to mostly round down.
This piece about the spectrum of imagination, and the 1% of people who can’t visualise things in their minds at all. I’m one of those people, and I’m surprised it’s such a small number - as well as astounded by the things that it turns out other people can see in their minds eye!
This story of autobiography and collaboration between Angela Davis and Toni Morrison
I had no idea existed. Imagine the editor’s notes in the margin of your manuscript being from Toni Morrison.
Your treat for the week
The Spotify playlist - There’s a Disco Ball Between Us: a theory of Black gay life
The playlist is made by Jafari S. Allen to complement his book of the same title.
If, like me, you couldn’t get enough of Beyoncé’s Renaissance album, take this opportunity to peek behind the tassel curtain and see the scene, the culture, the music, and the people who inspired it.
You can also read a great piece from Allen here.
I hope you dance right into your weekend.
As a super extra treat, this video thread is all you need to see you through the month.
As always, I’ll leave you with Alex the parrot’s last words
‘You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you’
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